


the voice from the stars

by sheelia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends, Future, Gen, Magical Realism, Night on the Galactic Railroad AU, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 10:48:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5494424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheelia/pseuds/sheelia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, it takes special circumstances to befriend someone all over again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the voice from the stars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pennyofthewild](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pennyofthewild/gifts).



> ¡¡¡( •̀ ᴗ •́ )و!!! HELLO PENNY. MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS FRIEND. I hereby gift you this!! I had no intention of making this angst oOPS but please accept it... things happened along the way... things that were not within my control... (✿˵•́ ‸ •̀˵) This was inspired by Kenji Miyazawa's Night on the Galactic Railroad, which was a delightful and thought-provoking read. Have an amazing Christmas and New Year!

_“Mostly,” said the roof to the sky,_

_“the distance between you and I is endlessness;_

_But a while ago two came up here,_

_And only one centimeter was left between us.”_

 - Larov (Mostly), Five Hebrew Love Songs

 

-

 

He found himself sitting in a train car, his hands clasped and resting amicably on his lap. His back sunk into the red velvet lining of his seat. The fabric was warm, as if he had been sitting there for a long time. Outside the window was pitch black, and if he squinted hard enough he could make out the outline of the pampas grass that lined the train tracks. He was greeted by his own reflection in the window and a weird, dissociative feeling churned in his stomach; he was barely even able to recognize himself. His gaze slid to the left to realize that there had been another person in the booth the entire time. His hair was a chocolatey brown, his white dress shirt was folded up to his elbows, and his head was turned away from him.

Perhaps it was his intense staring that alerted the stranger of his presence. The man turned his head back around, and a beat of silence–

“It’s nice to see you again, Tobio-chan.”

 

-

 

Oikawa looked just as he did in high school: young and fresh-faced, ready at any opportunity to tease Kageyama about something trivial.

“You look like you ran into a truck,” he greeted, folding his arms smugly.

Indeed there was nothing that Kageyama couldn't deny. He could barely recognize himself in his reflection, after all.

“Thanks,” Kageyama replies briefly, before directing his attention back to the intricate detail of the walls.

Oikawa drummed his fingers on the table between them, and he seemed to be searching for words.

“It's a beautiful night out,” he decided to say, and Kageyama looked up to see the Milky Way spilled across the black sky, and the longer he stared, the more he realized how incomprehensible space was.

 

-

 

The next time they looked at each other again was when the train conductor slid open the door of their booth and asked to check their tickets.

Kageyama’s eyes widened in panic. He had no idea how he got on this train, let alone knew where his ticket was. A glance across him eased his anxiety because Oikawa was equally confused. He stuffed both his hands into his pocket and something in his head seemed to click. Slowly, he pulled out a crisp green ticket and handed it to the train conductor, who did not notice anything out of the ordinary.

Kageyama followed suit, reaching into his pocket hoping that his ticket was there.

“Ticket please, young man. It’s a busy day today,” the train conductor said curtly. Oikawa snickered.

Kageyama quickly handed the ticket over and watched the man punch a hole into it. He inspected the green ticket once it was returned back to him and sighed, realizing that the words were printed in a different language.

The train continued chugging along in a straight line, but now they were passing a stream that reflected the resplendent sky. Breaking the uncomfortable silence between them, Kageyama asked, “How are you, Oikawa-san?”

Oikawa looked up from the ticket in his hands. “Terrible. I have no idea where I am, or how I got on this train.”

Kageyama shrugged in agreement. There were so many things he wanted to say but the sentences just wouldn’t form. He opened his mouth and closed it, figuring that the words would come if it were something important.

It’s been many years since he’s seen Oikawa, and even more since they’ve last had a conversation. The thing about time is that it slips past like a stream; you can’t hold onto it, and even if you try it slips right through your fingers.

 

-

 

“Are you still on the national team?” Oikawa asked. He started massaging the back of his neck to soothe the soreness that arose out of nowhere.

“No,” Kageyama replied, averting his gaze to the flowers carved into the gold embellishments that framed the train door. “Injury.”

He pointed at his left wrist as an explanation. “I had to stop playing.”

The look in Oikawa’s eyes softened because he could relate, and he didn’t say more. They fell into thoughtful silence, and then, “How’s Shrimpy-chan doing?”

Kageyama pressed his lips into a thin line, feeling shame and regret wash up on the shore of his consciousness, “I- We haven’t spoken in a while.”

“Ah. That’s a pity,” Oikawa added as a trivial remark.

In the distance Kageyama heard the ringing of a bell echoing down the hallway of the train. Soon after, there came a lady pushing a food cart. Oikawa jumped to his feet and opened the door to wave.

“Excuse me m’am, do you have any milk bread?” He called after her. Quickly he swivelled around to address Kageyama, “Could you get my wallet?”

Kageyama took a while to process that. He looked around Oikawa’s seat for any sign of a bag but found nothing. It could probably be on the rack above them. He reached up and groped around, pulling down the first object he touched.

“Is this it?” He asked, eyeing the fatigued leather suitcase he had just set on the table.

Oikawa scrunched his face up, “Ew, no.”

Kageyama reached up and retrieved a brown messenger bag that looked like it actually belonged to Oikawa.

“Think fast,” he shouted to Oikawa.

Oikawa fumbled as his wallet hit him right in the face, complaining, “I feel like you did that on purpose.”

 

-

 

Oikawa asked between nibbles of milk bread, “That yours?”

Kageyama set down his mug of coffee in front of him, looking confused.

“Tobio-chan, open it.”

“No,” Kageyama reeled back in disgust. “What if it’s a bomb?”

“Then I’ve lived a good life.”

Warily, Kageyama reached for the clasps on the side and slowly raised the cover, imagining severed body parts, or a ticking time bomb. Oikawa bent over to have a look.

“Oh. It’s just a radio,” Oikawa remarked.

In the leather suitcase was a compact radio that had its once sleek metal exterior all scratched up. Next to it was five cassette tapes lined in running order. Oikawa reached over to pick up Tape #1.

“Wait, that’s not ours-” Kageyama interjected.

Pointedly ignoring the other’s words, Oikawa clicked the tape into the holder and pressed play.

The tape started off with a crackle, and the both of them waited expectantly for something to happen. Even though Kageyama wore a look of nonchalance on his face, he found himself teetering on the edge of his seat.

 

-

 

_Iwaizumi Hajime, Age 15: Do you want to explain yourself?_

_[Volleyball bounces in the background. There is a constant buzzing of crickets in the background.]_

_Oikawa Tooru, Age 15: Not really._

_[Iwaizumi clucks his tongue.]_

_Iwaizumi Hajime: He’s just a kid, Oikawa._

_Oikawa Tooru: We’re kids too, Iwa-chan._

_[Iwaizumi sighs.]_

_Iwaizumi Hajime: Kageyama’s just trying to improve. What you did was uncalled for. I’m not telling you what to do, but I think he deserves an apology._

_Oikawa Tooru: It’s just unfair. Everything is unfair and I hate it._

_[Volleyball bounces in the background, followed by softer bouncing sounds as it rolls to the other end of the gym.]_

_Oikawa Tooru: Fine. I’ll apologize sooner or later._

_(Recording ends here.)_

 

-

 

The tape wound to a stop and it ended with a loud click, jolting the both of them back to reality.

Oikawa drummed his fingers on his knee nervously, choosing to look at the stars outside instead of at Kageyama.

“I hope you’re not expecting an apology,” Oikawa said, voice petulant. He spoke fast to avoid choking on his words.

“I’m not,” Kageyama assured. Both of them seemed to heave at the same time.

“Good,” Oikawa responded, folding his hands now. He wasn’t planning to touch the radio again.

“Yeah, good,” Kageyama repeated. They threw themselves back into the silence they were all too familiar with.

 

-

 

Kageyama stood up to use the bathroom. Every few moments or so the train shook and floor seemed to undulate beneath him. He held onto the walls as he walked down the corridor. On his right were large pristine glass windows that looked like they never gathered dust. He didn’t know if he were seeing things, but the stars outside looked much larger than he remembered. On his left were other train cars like the one he was in. Most of them were filled with two or more people, sometimes one, which would make for a pretty lonely ride. Kageyama was glad that he wasn’t alone, even if his companion had to be Oikawa.

He reached the bathroom and closed the door behind him. It was a fancy bathroom for a train; it might have been because it was foreign. He gripped the sides if the sink as he examined his face in the mirror. Now that he had bright lighting and an actual reflective surface he could see how terrible he looked. His left cheek looked like it was sunken in from some sort of impact, and his skin bloomed a ferocious purple. Trembling, he brought a hand up to his cheek to give it an experimental prod. No feeling. He heaved a sigh of relief. At least his other cheek looked good.

He examined the rest of his body for injuries. There was a small scrape on his elbow that definitely had not been there a while ago. Great.

He splashed some water on his face as though it would splash some life into him. After finishing using the bathroom, Kageyama deliberately took a longer time to walk back. The train gave him a strange, unsettling feeling, like that disorienting feeling he gets when he eats too much. He couldn’t put a finger on what that was though.

“Ugh, you’re finally back. What took you so long?” Oikawa groaned as soon as Kageyama slid open the door. He had slipped off his shoes and his legs were now crossed on the seat.

“I had trouble finding the bathroom,” Kageyama lied. He pressed his lips into a thin line.

Oikawa huffed in annoyance. Kageyama had always been a terrible liar.

“Also, you were gone so long your coffee got cold,” he added.

“What? How did you know?” Kageyama cocked his head in question, only now noticing that the position of his coffee cup was slightly different.

Oikawa shrugged and diverted his attention to the tall pampas grass outside the window, which was an infinitely more tolerable task than conversing with Kageyama.

 

-

 

"What are you doing?" Oikawa asked when he heard Kageyama fiddle with the cassette tapes in the leather trunk.

"There are four more of these tapes," Kageyama said monotonously, as if his statement couldn't be obvious enough.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Tobio-chan," Oikawa got flustered, remembering what had happened thirty minutes ago. "These aren't ours."

Kageyama tilted his head up, and in the dim lighting his bruised face looked all the more terrifying, "Yeah, well. Sounds to me like you’re scared."

Oikawa's jaw dropped in mock offense, or at least he badly pretended that he was jokingly offended to mask the actual hurt. Kageyama could never really tell when Oikawa was genuine.

Truth be told Kageyama was afraid of what would be on this second tape. The first of them exposed a raw part of Oikawa's past that he never talked about. If the same were to happen to him, he wasn't sure what it was going to be. Like Oikawa, Kageyama never had the habit of divulging his problems to others. Not even Hinata, his best friend. Well, at least until—

The radio crackled to life, static whizzing until it was overwhelmed of the sound of voices.

 

-

 

_The Japan National Volleyball Team Coach: So I received the results from the hospital about that wrist of yours. [Pause.] You might want to sit down._

_[Chair legs dragging across the floor.]_

_Kageyama Tobio, age 25: What did they say?_

_[X-rays being drawn out of a large envelope.]_

_Coach: This is not the first time you’ve injured that wrist. It’s in pretty bad shape, son._

_[Silence.]_

_Coach: In the interest of your health and as your coach, I think it’s time to call it quits._

_[Kageyama Tobio releases a long breath.]_

_Kageyama Tobio: I can still play, I’ll just be more careful and I’ll-_

_Coach: You have a bright future. There are many other options out there. You had an amazing run on the team._

_[Silence. Then, the sound of chair legs scraping across the floor.]_

_Kageyama Tobio: Thank you. I’m going to head back home first. I’m not feeling good._

_[The automatic glass doors in the large gymnasium slides open slickly. Kageyama’s pace increases dramatically, the sound of his shoes striking the asphalt in the parking lot echoing like a heartbeat. There is a jangling of his car keys, followed by heavy breathing and panting. Kageyama rests his forehead on the driving wheel, making a soft thud.]_

_(Recording ends here.)_

 

-

 

"I'm sorry," Oikawa said out of nowhere, and his words seemed to disperse the cloud of awkwardness floating between them. It had been five minutes since the tape finished playing. Kageyama sat in the silence and let it steep in until he felt it overwhelm him. Occasionally he touched his wrist to make sure it was still there.

"What for?" Kageyama replied.

"I understand how you feel, injury and all. I love volleyball as much as you do, remember?" Oikawa said, and his words seemed to cheer Kageyama up.

"Tell me though, what was it like being on the national team? It's all right if you don't want to talk about it, Iwa-chan told me I have the sensitivity of a brick."

"No, it's fine," Kageyama assured him. His head bowed down for a while so that he could collect his thoughts. He didn't know where to start.

"Ushiwaka was there, socially inept as ever."

Oikawa sucked in a breath like he was going to choke on his laughter, "That coming from you? Harsh."

"I really enjoyed it. It was tough, and I kept improving. Hinata was there too, which was nice. A friendly familiar face in a crowd is always important for the first day..." His thoughts seemed to drift away from him. He imagined himself standing at the bow of a boat, eyes roaming the dark expanse of the sea. It was useless trying to recall what he had wanted to finish saying.

"Speaking of which, how is Chibi-chan?"

"I, uh. It's been awhile since we've talked," Kageyama felt his face grow hot.

"Okay. Let me rephrase my question. How was he the last time you spoke to him?" Oikawa asked again. He had long finished his milk bread but he was now fiddling with the packaging and it was frankly quite distracting.

"He was good," was Kageyama's succinct reply. He turned his head away to the window, and Oikawa understood very well that it wasn't something that Kageyama wanted to talk about.

“Ooh. What’s this?” Oikawa changed the subject to ease the tension building up in the tiny room. He rearranged the items in the suitcase so that he could pull out whatever lay at the bottom.

“It’s a star chart,” Kageyama stated, amazed at the elaborate detail. He was afraid to hold on to it. The chart was close to weightless and it was probably an antique-- he didn’t want to ruin it with his sweaty hands.

“Pretty,” Oikawa commented, shifting the piece of paper under the light so that the gold foil embossing reflected light back to him. “I wonder where we are.”

Kageyama looked at the map, then looked out of the window to see if there were any distinguishing landmarks. It had been miles and miles of water and pampas grass. He had no idea where there were.

Oikawa shrugged, unfazed by the confusion Kageyama was steeped in. “Doesn’t this remind you of the time we tried to get to this other junior high school, back when we were in Kitagawa Daiichi? Iwa-chan insisted he knew the way.”

Kageyama remembered the group of them wandering around a hilly suburban area in the summer of his first year, meekly trailing behind the third years who tried to find their way around with an outdated map.

A chuckle rose up his throat like the bubbles that fizzed in carbonated soda.

“Yes, I remember it very well.”

 

-

 

A voice came blaring through the overhead speakers, “The next stop is Galactic Station. There, we will stop for ten minutes. We will be arriving at our destination shortly.”

Kageyama jolted at the noise and reached for the star chart on the table. He traced the dotted line that linked the different stations until he found where Galactic Station was. Using his finger, he backtracked to where he thought they currently were. Not that that information would be useful.

The pampas grass and stream outside the window gradually disappeared until there was nothing decipherable outside the window but pitch black. Suddenly, a bright light illuminated the train car. Kageyama held his breath. And then, all at once, the sky was spotted with the most stars Kageyama had ever seen in his life. He felt his heart leap, and as if to check if he was dreaming he shook his head side to side, which made all the beautiful lights in his vision streak and sway.

In the distance, Kageyama spotted a different source of light. Squinting, he made out a short building, which he presumed was the station.

A thought suddenly occurred to him. Why hadn’t he thought of it earlier?

“Where are we supposed to get off, Oikawa-san?” He asked. He retrieved the green ticket from his pocket and stared at the foreign words, hoping that if he stared enough he would be able to read it.

Oikawa’s eyes grew alert. The train slowed to a stop as it pulled into the station.

Pushing himself to his feet, he said, “I don’t know. We should go find out.”

 

-

 

The train conductor was nowhere to be found, so they decided to step off the train to see if they could find any station personnel. The platform was empty, and now that the train wasn’t running the entire area was still and silent. Kageyama had never been anywhere this quiet before.

Oikawa held his ticket up against the list of destinations on the notice board, intending to match similar characters up until he identified their destination.

“Hmm, that’s funny,” he said, scratching his head. “It’s not on here.”

 

-

 

With nothing else to do, Oikawa inserted the third tape from the trunk.

 

_[The click of the receiver being picked up from a landline telephone.]_

_Hinata Shouyou: Kageyama! Hello!_

_[Kageyama sighs.]_

_Kageyama Tobio: What do you want?_

_Hinata Shouyou: How’s your new job?_

_Kageyama Tobio: Lame._

_Hinata Shouyou: I've always wanted to work in an office! Free desk supplies! And you get to wear suits!_

_Kageyama Tobio: Who gives a shit about free desk supplies? And I fucking hate these suits._

_Hinata Shouyou: Just-_

_[Hinata sighs.]_

_Hinata Shouyou: -look on the bright side._

_[Sound of paper shuffling on a table.]_

_Kageyama Tobio: That's easy for you to say. You're still playing on the team while I'm here working 9 to 5 in this god forsaken hell hole._

_[Pause.]_

_Hinata Shouyou: What about those parties that large companies like yours have? Or one of those-_

_Kageyama Tobio: Hinata, will you please shut up for once?_

_Hinata Shouyou: You know Kageyama, you haven't changed all these years. Why do you have to be so bitter?_

_Kageyama Tobio: Don't try to act like you know how I feel_

_Hinata Shouyou: Why? Because I'm working your dream job and you're stuck with whatever crap shit you have? I swear Kageyama if this is about you being jealous you can just stuff it._

_[Pause.]_

_Hinata Shouyou: I'll talk to you later when you've calmed down._

_(Recording ends here.)_

 

Kageyama felt jittery, as if he were trying to wake up from a bad dream. He always felt like this whenever they argued. For some reason he couldn’t recall when exactly they had this argument, but he pulled out his phone from his pocket to check for good measure.

“Well,” Oikawa said flatly.

Kageyama’s phone screen was shattered badly. Since when did he drop it?

Frustrated from not being able to remember many simple details about his life, he groaned into his cupped palms.

 

-

 

Kageyama was counting the number of gold buttons on the walls when he noticed something on Oikawa’s pants.

“Is that… Your knee. It’s bleeding,” he said, pointing at the blossoming red on the material of Oikawa’s khaki pants.

“What?” Oikawa replied alarmingly as he examined his pants himself. There was no indication of pain, so he had to wonder where all the blood came from.

“I’ll go get some tissue paper!” Kageyama practically screamed. He dashed out of the train car and down the corridor, passing along rooms that had less people in them than before. In the bathroom, he pulled long strips of toilet paper from the dispenser, and carried an entire ball of tissue back to the room.

When he returned to the train car, Oikawa was still sitting in the same spot, except now he had his pants pulled down.

“Are those… cartoon alien boxers?” Kageyama tried to suppress his laughter.

Oikawa narrowed his eyes.

The gash on Oikawa’s shin started from his knee, but it wasn’t as bad as it looked, according to Oikawa. He moved his leg around to demonstrate.

Kageyama bent down on his knees as he tried to apply pressure onto the wound, hoping that the bleeding would stop.

Chuckling, Oikawa said, “You know what? You really remind me of Iwa-chan right now.”

Kageyama’s face morphed into an annoyed scowl.

“Yes. Definitely like Iwa-chan.”

 

-

 

_[The buzz of a crowd in the background.]_

_Oikawa Tooru: Tobio-chan!_

_[Water bottle drops onto the bathroom floor.]_

_Kageyama Tobio: Oh fuck- I mean, Oikawa-san. Hello._

_[Oikawa steps towards the sinks and turns the tap on.]_

_Oikawa Tooru: So. That game later. We both know who’s going to win right?_

_[One of the bathroom stall doors slam open.]_

_Hinata Shouyou: We are! We’re going to defeat you and Aoba Jousai and Shiratorizawa. Just watch us!_

_Oikawa Tooru: We’ll see about that, Chibi-chan._

_[Pause.]_

_Kageyama Tobio: Bring it on, Oikawa-san._

 

-

 

Kageyama sat up at the sound of Hinata’s voice. While it sounded different -- it was a recording from close to ten years ago, after all -- it still had that shining quality in it. Hinata’s voice was now mature, even though sometimes his actions said otherwise. Kageyama tucked his chin in towards his chest to hide a rising smile.

“Your voice cracked at the end there, Tobio-chan,” Oikawa teased, and he probably had a stupid expression on his face now if Kageyama were to look up. “Very cute.”

There were several things running through Kageyama’s head, questions that he had difficulty remembering the answers to,

“Where are we going?” He asked. He tried not to appear alarmed, but the look in his eyes gave him away.

Oikawa took a deep breath in and released it. “We’ve established that we do not know that.”

Kageyama averts his eyes to the star chart on the table between them, tracing the dotted path from the beginning to the end.

He sat up in his seat with newfound vigor, “How did you get on this train?”

He only remembered suddenly finding himself on the train with no recollection of how he got on it. Thinking harder only served to make more prominent the missing space in his memory.

With growing realization, Oikawa shook his head.

“Or how about this: Do you recall anything before this train?” Kageyama asked again.

He stared at the gold buttons on the walls as he thought about this. And then, “I was heading home for New Years’.”

Oikawa snapped his finger and he was now pointing at Kageyama, “That’s right!”

He pressed his lips into a thin line, rotating the star chart so that he looked at it right side up, “Well. This is no Japan.”

A voice came out of the overhead speakers, the sound reverberating off the walls, “The next stop is Aquila Station. There, we will be stopping for ten minutes. We will be arriving shortly.”

Oikawa stood up and made sure his pants looked decent. There was still that unfortunate blood stain on his pants, but he couldn’t do anything about that.

“We’re getting off on that stop. We’re going to find some answers,” he said with a resolute look in his eyes.

Several people alighted at Aquila. They mirrored both Kageyama and Oikawa in their injuries -- a gash here and there, maybe a bruised eye -- but none of them seem to pay any attention to them. None of them were able to answer any of their questions. In fact, they seemed to be as clueless as they were. There were men, dressed like chauffeurs, standing at the exit of the small station holding up large name plaques. In groups, the alighted passengers followed their chauffeur-like men and then disappeared through the exit.

Kageyama glanced at the time on his watch. Seven more minutes.

“There might be someone outside that might know,” Oikawa suggested. “The people in here are useless.”

Kageyama was afraid of missing their train. Six and a half minutes.

“Okay. But quickly,” he said, and immediately Oikawa sprinted off.

The air outside was no different from the air on the open-air platform, but Kageyama felt like he had plunged himself into a totally different world. The weight of the earth beneath him seemed to shift slightly, and he felt his stomach churn. All he wanted was to go back home.

Oikawa spotted a figure sitting on the side of a platform that hung over the river. He fit his two legs between the gaps in the railing and he was holding a fishing rod. Kageyama glanced at his watch. Five minutes.

“Excuse me sir, can you read this? Do you know what this place is?” Oikawa approached him and asked.

The old man wiggles out of his fishing position so that he could get a better look at Oikawa’s ticket. His jaw hung open in awe, and with unexpected pride he pat Oikawa on the shoulder. He said, “You, son, are very lucky. Not many people get to travel all the way to the end.”

Kageyama should be feeling happy about this, but his stomach was still as heavy as a stone.

“What about home? How do I get home?” He asked.

The old man grew pensive, gazing at the stars now as if he were searching for an answer as well. “Forget about going home, boy. It’s better if you don’t think about it anymore.”

Kageyama felt his legs root themselves into the ground. He could barely stand. The train’s horn blew in the background, signaling the time to return.

 

-

 

“Well since we’re gonna be stuck here, we might as well be friends,” Oikawa said as soon as they sat back down. He was panting from having sprinted the entire way back.

“Aren’t you afraid?” Kageyama asked. “Where are we going? How do we get back home?”

He felt as if he had a whole list of things not yet done, a sort of empty feeling he used to get when he ran on an empty stomach.

“I remember making up with Hinata,” he said suddenly as soon as the thought came back to him. He spit it out immediately. “There is going to be a Karasuno reunion. God, I hope I don’t have to miss it.”

Oikawa chuckled, “Now I remember. I was going back for a wedding. Believe it or not, Matsukawa finally grew a pair and asked Hanamaki to marry him. I’m like his best man. Well there’s also Iwa-chan fighting for that position, but we all know who’s going to win.”

They shared a brief moment of shared understanding. “I don’t know if we’ll ever get back home. But. Being friends is a good idea,” Kageyama said.

They alternated between staring outside the window and staring at each other. After a while, Oikawa recalled that there was still an unplayed tape on the table, and he proceeded to insert it into the machine.

Both of them stared at the old radio expectantly, knowing that at this rate it could be anything. It could be about Kageyama, Oikawa, or the both of them.

 

_[The opening jingle of the headline news.]_

_Breaking news. A train derailment on Tohoku Shinkansen Hayate 113 travelling from Tokyo to Morioka at 2.13 p.m. this afternoon has resulted in an estimated 1,984 casualties. At this time, we have not received any reports on the number of survivors. We will provide updates when more information is received. Thank you for your kind attention._

_(Recording ends here.)_

 

The recording ended with a click, and it was followed by a long, dreadful pause. There had been many instances of silence in the span of the entire journey, but this one was significant.

At that moment everything started to fall into place: how they had no idea where they were headed or how they ended up on this train, the injuries, and how odd everything was, now that he thought about it.

Kageyama felt his gut wrench, an unpleasant feeling that made him want to double over. The tears in his eyes made his vision grow hazy, blurring the light of the milky way outside. Staring at his shoes, he said haltingly, “We’re dead, aren’t we?”

He looked up from the ground and faced Oikawa now, who stared back at him with depthless eyes. No response.

Kageyama had expected himself to lose his composure, but here he was, calmly accepting this revelation. He thought about all the things he had yet to do, but only indulged himself for a while. He thought about the things he wished he could have done over, the different things he would say.

The shattered phone on the table vibrated with a message from Hinata. Kageyama reached over to pick it up. There was a new message from Hinata that said:

 

_Kageyama- I heard you were on the train to Miyagi and I hope you’re okay. Please reply me as soon as you can. I want to tell you-_

 

The message cut off the last few characters of Hinata’s message. Kageyama desperately tried to unlock his phone to read the whole message and possibly respond, but the screen was dead to his touch. He was close to throwing the phone on the ground, but he stopped himself before doing something he might later regret.

“Look at the stars!” Oikawa’s exclaimed, his voice hoarse. “If anything,” he strained, futilely trying to sound optimistic. “I have a feeling that we’re headed to a good place.”

Kageyama diverted his attention to the wide expanse of stars outside, spotted red and yellow and blue. When he blinked, those stars seemed to blink back at him too.

He paused, measuring the weight of his one hand in the other. Feeling both wistful yet grateful, he thoughtfully added, “Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> in case you need more sadness:[✿](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xir15KVWJ2o), [✿](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rV3Zd8-CN8), [✿](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2wh40oAmJo), [✿](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkALH_c7GZc).
> 
> talk to me on tumblr @plaire  
> special shout out to Eliza / develei for holding my hand


End file.
